It’s Hard

Being a mom is hard. No one tells you that. Ok, maybe everyone tells you that, but it doesn’t really hit until you are a mom. Maybe you’re a mom, not a mom, want to be a mom, don’t even like kids… regardless, being a mom is HARD. It is so hard.

Coparenting is hard, too. You don’t ever see eye to eye. Whether you live together, are married, separated, divorced, whatever your situation is, I think (personally) it is nearly impossible to see 100% eye to eye with your partner/coparent. Our situation is as follows: Cecelia lives with me, and when she chooses to visit her dad, she is allowed to. I have no problem with that. I think father/daughter relationships are sooo important. My dad is one of my very best friends, I say that truthfully. I go to him for nearly everything. I want Cecelia and her dad to have as strong a relationship as mine is with my dad. I don’t know if that will happen, they are both so different than us. Either way, we get along. My boyfriend (Johnny) and I are friendly with Cecelia’s dad and his fiancé. It’s much better than I ever could have hoped for, considering how I’ve seen some other young couples coparent their kids. Or don’t, as the case may be.

I really love being a mom, I do. I love my daughter more than life itself, I have no idea where I would be without her. She gives me purpose. I wake up, go to work, bust my ass, take shit from my coworkers, all to provide for her and to give her all of the things she wants and needs. She is my favorite person, hands down, in the entire world. But god damn, she has the hugest, monster attitude I have ever encountered. She blows my mind. I don’t even know where she learned it. The eye rolling, the back talk, the sassy little voice, the refusal to brush her hair or teeth, the refusal to do homework, etc. Oh my GOD, she is EIGHT. Being a mom is draining. I can’t wait for bedtime most nights. I feel so bad about that, but it’s true. I can’t wait for Cecelia to go to sleep so that I can go to sleep and let the day go. I hope every. single. night. that the next morning we’ll wake up and have a fight free day.

I wouldn’t trade this kid for the world. Even through it all, she is my constant. I love being her mom, no matter how pressing it is, or how stressed out I get, I love that little person. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

 

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